Forgiveness Is Loving Yourself
Psychologists define “forgiveness” as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
So just because you forgive doesn’t indicate you forget what it is, they have done. Just because you forgive, doesn’t mean denying the seriousness of the offenses that were done against you. Also, just because you forgive doesn’t imply you return to the relationship.
Codependent relationships are not healthy for you and the other person who has the problem you are trying so desperately to fix. Alcoholism, emotional abuse, drug addiction, compulsive disorders, for many of us it's not about forgetting it's about forgiving.
When we forgive a person, we also forgive ourselves. This brings us peace of mind and frees us from holding grudges and resentment which only further hurts us. Forgiving allows us to move forward and leave behind the anger and resentment of a destructive relationship.
By letting go it allows you to feel empowered and to release negative emotions that are attached to that previous relationship. We can no longer allow those feelings to define us. With forgiveness it allows us to heal and to begin to love ourselves. We must stop beating ourselves up wondering if I only had done this or that for this person maybe then they would stop.
Never allow someone to say to you, “to just forgive and forget,” because it feeds our denial system. We should think about it, remember it and understand and make healthy decisions about what we are forgiving. I am not implying that we hold on to those hurtful feelings and hold grudges. That only delays our recovery to forgiveness.
Don’t you feel like you have been hurt enough?
Forgiveness is about letting go and moving forward, loving ourselves, and to heal so that we can love again in a healthy mutually respectful relationship.
Forgiveness takes time and it evolves and grows as we forgive those who hurt us and forgive ourselves for lingering in the codependent relationship. It’s time to build our self-esteem and self-love. Working on forgiveness and making good decisions and seek healthy independent relations.
When I think about Forgiveness a song comes to my mind by Don Henley. It says in a beautiful way how we can become codependent and losing ourselves and then learning to Forgive. Here are the lyrics below follow the link. Enjoy as you learn to Forgive yourself and others. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZjxbqO4WLc
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