Codependency underlies all addictions. The core system of “dependency” manifests as reliance on a person, substance, or process, (an activity such as gambling, or sex addiction). Instead, having a healthy relationship with yourself, you make something or someone else more important.
Codependency creates unhappiness because you just can’t be yourself. Sometimes you may think that if your being yourself, people won’t like you. I understand, I get it, yes, I’ve been there. Another possible reason may be that if your busy doing for others, you’re not focusing on yourself and your needs, desires, and goals.
It’s time to begin on rediscovering yourself. The person you want to be. The reality is those people you’ve been spending all your time on can take care of themselves. Won’t it be a wonderful thing to plan a day for yourself doing what you want to do, and not feeling guilty. Let me say that again, and NOT feel guilty.
How do you do that you may ask. Let’s begin by looking at 10 steps to create a happier you:
• Placing yourself first again is important. No more should you sacrifice your needs. This leads to resentment. Stop ignoring your needs and desires.
• Expressing yourself in other ways, use kindness and patience. Otherwise you could come off as being resentful and sarcastic. Also speaking up sooner in relation to the situation will allow you to express your feelings easier.
• It will be awesome to see your relationships improve, when you are not solving their problems. Wow, That’s freedom and a sigh of relief.
• This can be challenging, to not give unwanted advice and just be supportive. Many people just would rather have someone to just listen.
• Stay in your lane so to speak. In the process to maintain our own energy, we must learn to Let Go. Another word is detachment. To detach is to allow another person to make their own choices, good, bad or ugly. We should not try to control the outcome.
• Remember the No muscle, doesn’t saying yes, all the time get tiring? Turn it into a No and you will feel a weight lifted from you.
• Give yourself permission to ask for assistance. As a codependent we tell ourselves we can handle all those issues, but it’s not our issues. So begin to give yourself permission, and you will begin to feel comfortable about asking for assistance.
• You’re not preoccupied or obsessing on what’s not in your control. This is when we keep our thoughts in the present moment. Bring the focus back to yourself. This will maintain less stress and become more grounded.
• To me this one was huge, to stop caring what others thought.
• How much time has been wasted on worrying for and caring for another. We become so wrapped in doing that we forget to be ourselves.
When we cease to be preoccupied, that’s when we can let go and be the wonderful selves we know we are. Changing behaviors isn’t easy. We must be patient with ourselves. To love our-selves enough to say, “It’s time to let go, to detach.”
I’m here to support you on your journey to discovering yourself.
Are you ready to LET GO? It’s time to take that step. I can offer you that safe space to create the changes that you feel are necessary for your self-growth and independence. Contact me now to learn how you can make yourself a priority, start building your no muscle and stop caring what other people think.