Plan ahead. Take a moment to write out the holiday events on a calendar. Organize those events you plan to attend or not attend. On the calendar write yes, no or maybe on the date. Remember it’s okay to say no and not attend every gathering you receive an invite to. The key is to not stress over it. Prioritize those first and let yourself make new choices. It’s okay to skip the Christmas Party this year. When things seem to get too crazy, you’ll be glad you planned. When you allow yourself to do less you’ll get more time to enjoy your holiday with others. Keep it Simple.
Prioritize Self-Care, sometimes we get too busy running here and there during the holidays. The spirit of giving and enjoying family and friends gets lost. It’s important to take time for you. The holidays can bring moments of painful sad memories, it makes it hard to celebrate. Be kind to your-self, put yourself first. And ask for help when you need it. It’s not a sign of weakness or dependency. There’s no reason to feel guilty. Put a different twist on the traditional holiday meal. Have a pot luck and have everyone bring their favorite holiday dish and with a story as to why its their favorite. Be creative, this can be a fun and exciting time. Less stress is key. Remember you are in control.
Setting boundaries, instead of trying to please everyone. It’s okay to try something new. You can host a holiday for friends and be with family another time. Think about what you want. What could you do different? Is there anything you really don’t wan to do? Remember it’s okay to say No or maybe. Is there one thing that would make your holiday more enjoyable. Are there any obligations you would like to say no to, it’s fine to say no. Don’t allow negative self-talk, or guilt keep things from changing. Your allowed to try something new. Create a new tradition. Take a drive and enjoy the decorations an festive lights. Whatever you choose is okay. Self-care doesn’t mean that your selfish, it means that your needs count too.
Holiday season can be over whelming trying to plan events, gift giving, and the finances to get it accomplished. Take time for yourself, take a long bath in
fragrant essential oils relax to your favorite holiday music. Meditate on what brings you joy and happiness, keep a journal. Before it’s time to spend time with family set quietly and think about how you would like the day to unfold. Be prepared to accept them as they are. You can be in control of only one person you. So, accept those things you can’t change and detach from the rest. Be true to yourself and your happiness.
No matter how difficult we think it is, we can prepare ourselves for challenging situations and people or even family members we encounter during the holidays. The holidays add some extra challenges when it comes to healthy boundaries. As you know, the holiday season means more social commitments, financial pressures, family gatherings, more eating and drinking. You may find yourself over-stressed and off your normal routine of exercising, sleeping, healthy eating and other positive, coping activities. Just remember to not allow those times to create unwanted stressing your life. Take time out for yourself during this busy holiday season. Create a new tradition of your own. Make it joyful and lighthearted.
We can embrace what the real meaning is for you and not get hung up on details. Keep a gratitude journal, this is helpful to train your brain to find the goodness in every situation.
Do you feel obligated to spend the holidays with family who stress you out? Instead of avoiding, limit the spent. You can also gather some friends and people in your community to give you that positive energy. This will fill you up emotionally.
Take some time for yourself. The holiday parties, family gatherings, and all the holiday preparation can drain you. Set aside some time for yourself. You deserve it. Even if it’s a quiet relaxing dinner with your spouse/partner. Getting home early and relaxing, getting a good refreshing nights sleep. Just think you won’t go back to work drained.
Don’t be afraid to say NO. Trying to do too much for everyone will increase your stress. Be clear, about your approach surrounding the holidays, and keep your boundaries in place. Set your intention as you want it to be. Don’t allow others to place un-necessary expectations onto you.
Feeling the pressure to get it all done on time. From the shopping and the preparation of food. This can be stressful. Make sure you organize and plan everything. Make a list of your tasks coming up and check each off as you accomplish it. Do your best to buy items on sale and check if its still available. Also
make a list and check it off each present you buy to insure you have it all covered. You can even create a menu of the meal you plan to prepare. Cook/prepare those items you can in advance. this will help reduce the stress of waiting to have it done in one day. This doesn’t have to be a stressful time. Plan, organize and keep it simple.
It becomes easy to make excuses and make unhealthy choices, because its Christmas. You may become a bit more passive and not want to voice your needs for fear of ruining a special occasion or offending another with an argument. Being around family can also mean slipping back into old relationship codependent patterns that you’ve worked hard to un-twine yourself from.
Don’t let the holidays become an excuse for poor boundaries. Stay focused and true to your needs. Ask for what you need and want. continue to say “NO’ without guilt, or beating yourself up with the should haves, could haves, or would haves. Speak up about how you want to spend the holidays, what gifts you want or which social occasions you’d like to attend. Remember to spend time with supportive people. Take responsibility for your own happiness now and in the New Year. Are you ready to take control of those holiday blues with a new sense of freedom from the feelings it creates. I'm ready to help, let's get started.